Funeral Etiquette—-Miss Manners

Sep 27, 2012 | Articles in the News

Q DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the acceptable social response when an immediate family member of the deceased approaches you at a funeral and says, “Thank you for coming”?

Do you leave it simple and say, “You’re welcome,” or something a little more heartfelt like, “This is where I want to be, supporting you and your family”?

A GENTLE READER: But if you make that heartfelt statement, they will have to thank you all over again, and you’ll be back with that awkward “You’re welcome.”

Supporting the bereaved is only part of the reason for attending a funeral. Paying respects to the person who died is the other part, and the family is thanking you for that. Miss Manners recommends that, having offered your condolences, you then reply with a statement of how highly you thought of that person.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/09/18/3819816/miss-manners-invitation-inquiry.html#storylink=cpy

Kind Words

Thank you both for the patience and understanding on the logistics of BK's funeral arrangements. It was a pleasure to work with you both. My sister, Julie, couldn't have been more pleased. The services you offer are well thought out and executed with compassion.

MHD

Dad has commented several times since mom's passing how her Celebration of Life was such a nice tribute to her and how grateful he was for that process to be handled so smoothly.

Beth W.

You both have exceeded your calling, and I'm so grateful you were there for me.

Marchia

Thank you so much for all of the care and concern you have given our family. We appreciate all of your help in planning the funeral. You did a wonderful job!

The Abram Family

Words will never be enough to properly express our gratitude...Your care for him and your guidance in our hour of need will never be repaid. Thank you, a million times, for you compassion and respectful service.

Nicole

Thank you so much for your compassionate care of our family. You have answered Dad's call to comfort grieving families, and we are so grateful.

Nancy

"Thank you so much for the wonderful help you have been to our family. You met and exceeded our wishes"

Bukeka and Makeda

"You gave us the personal attention that we needed during the process. Thank you for going the extra step for us"

Cynthia

"A giant THANK YOU for your knowledge, care, concern, suggestions and friendship"

Joyce F.

"Thank you so much for coordinating my mom's funeral. You could not have been more respectful and empathetic"

Amy E.

Thanks for making this an easier experience than I could have imagined.

Bill B.

You made the whole experience of losing my Dad so much more bearable thank I could have imagined. Thank you so much for everything.

Paula H.

Thank you again for all of your help, support and encouragement.

Linda S.

I want to thank you and the friend that is making these wonderful white cloths ... whenever I see it it reminds me of a shroud and brings a very pleasant peace.

thank you dear friend

Elaine

I'm Speechless, you are so kind. You made Richard's celebration of Life and awesome experience. Richard and I shared our life together for 45 years and you have put my life in a happier place.
Most Grateful I am, Robert S.

Robert S.

Your service (and that of the other team members at Signature Funerals) was so helpful to my family throughout the aftermath of my dad's death. Thank you again for your sensitive but wide-ranging help and advice. The service and celebration of his life went smoothly and was cathartic to everyone, due in large part to all of you at Signature Funerals.

Katie C.

"We can't begin to thank you for all you did to help us with Mike. Your kindness and thoughtfulness provided peace and comfort for all of us. You have been such a blessing for both my mom and my husband. You are God's grace for us"
With much gratitude and love,

Vicki and family

"I really appreciate the time you spent with me on my unannounced visit regarding funeral arrangements for Marion. You went above and beyond with notes and drafting a letter for me, Bless you"

Jill H.

Cathy Boomer has a very calming influence and sense of peacefulness about her, even in the most emotional situations. She handled all the details of my mother's passing and funeral with professional dignity. She was unobtrusive but in control of all the little details and we, as a family, relied on her with immense satisfaction.

Nancy H.

"Just a note to say how pleased I was with your funeral services for Judy. It made the situation much more tolerable."

Ralph F.

"Thank you so very much for the "In Loving Memory" book. It was truly a lovely meaningful gift for us. And, thank you again for making Michael's final tribute a beautiful lasting memory for us."

Genanne D.

"We appreciate all that you did to make my mother's visitation simple and elegant. Your staff helped all of our family feel very comfortable. Your place was perfect for honoring and celebrating my mother's life."

Sue and Bernie

"Thanks for all your wonderful help. To do what you did in such a short period of time was truly amazing. It sure made us feel good to know all of the details were being taken care of very professionally."

Mark R.

"Thank you for all you did to make Dallas' memorial and celebration of his life a good day for our family. Your kindness will never be forgotten."

Eleanor P.

I want to thank you, on behalf of my family, and father in particular, beginning with your presence with us the night of mom's passing in her room. You were a calming presence throughout. Your funeral space is lovely and uplifting. It was, indeed, the perfect space for such a somber, but also celebrated gathering. Thank you for your guidance throughout.

Rebecca B.

"Thanks so much for all you did to make our son's service so beautiful so that we could touch the lives of many through him."

Jim and Leslie

"Thank you so very much for all the work you did for Papa. He was the neatest man and I'm so lucky to have had so much time with him. We are grateful."

Cherlyn

"At such a difficult time, it was comforting to have your respectful and tender care of my mom and her arrangements. The service was a beautiful end to her journey to Heaven. You truly have a unique gift."

Holly G.

"Thank you so much for your care for me and my family after mom's death. Your love and attention was so helpful and you made it easy for me and my siblings to have fun with each other."

Brian O.

"I want to thank Signature Funerals and yourself for everything you have done during this hard time. You made this nightmare into something for us to be proud of. The kindness and love you showed us from day one was truly amazing. God Bless."

Ned and Kimberly

"Thank you so much. Everything was lovely and we have received so many compliments."

Anne E.

"Just want to thank you for helping to give such a nice memorial service for our loved one. You were wonderful and went beyond anything expected. I appreciate it and I appreciate you and the strength you give me."

Debbie Brown

"Thank you so much for opening your heart up to our family."

Mabel B.

"Words can not express our gratitude for helping us with our loved one's needs and the visitation service. You, especially, made such a tragic and sad time more bearable. Your friendship and professionalism went miles to help my family and myself."

Marta Reber Warren

"I feel so lucky to have been able to know you a little and work with you for the funeral of our mom. You were everywhere and it was a comfort to us to turn her over to you, knowing you would treat her with loving kindness. Thank you so much."

Susan W.

"I recently had an opportunity to use your services after my father and step-mother died within a 7 week period. Because I had dealt with Michelle Parks previously when my mother-in-law died, I contacted her when the need arose. I could not have been more pleased with my experience. Dad wanted to be cremated and Mom wanted a traditional burial with a casket. I sat down with Michelle each time in your beautiful facility and she made it easy for me to understand the options as she gently guided me through the process. She covered all the bases in one sitting and I was impressed with the very competitive price structuring of your services."

"Michelle was absolutely fabulous each time. I felt that I received very personal service and she was available to answer my questions at any hour. She was understanding, compassionate, and very knowledgeable about her industry. I am hoping to take a break from your services for a while, but when the need arises again, I will call Signature Funerals."

Bryan C. Nelson M.D.

"Even though the passing of my father was a traumatic experience as would be expected, working with Cathy Boomer and the team at Signature Funerals, made the entire experience one to be cherished and remembered in only the most positive of lights. From the time hospice was called in to assist my father and our family through his final transition, to the planning and actual day of his service Signature Funerals handled every detail. In particular Cathy Boomer displayed an innate and unique ability to explain each and every step, being very careful not to overwhelm us during a very fragile time for our family. Looking back on this, it is evident that this is not only an important piece if ensuring a pleasant experience, but that it is a fine line that I believe is not necessarily shared by all that provide the type of service as Signature Funerals. The time that Cathy and the spent with us in the days leading up to my father’s service was focused on anticipating things we may not have thought of, things we needed to know as well as understanding what was important to our family and my father to ensure the service truly did honor his life."

"As said before, Cathy and Signature Funerals, helped our family create a memory that we will never forget and cherish forever. I would happily recommend Cathy and her team over and over again."

Andre Player | Vice President Anthem Media Group